In the Face of Disappointment

What do we do when we face disappointment? What do we do when we experience something that feels like our world is crashing down? What do we do when we feel totally and utterly rejected? The truth is we WILL face disappointment. We all will. We will face rejection, we will experience heartbreak, we all will, at some point in our lives, have moments that make us want to sit alone in our rooms and just cry...and I mean ugly cry. I wish there was a magic formula that excuses us from these feelings, but unfortunately it’s just not real life. If there is one thing I have learned it’s that we aren’t alone. You, friend, are NOT alone. Our circumstances will be different but the feelings are the SAME.

When I was younger, I didn’t face a lot of rejection. So when I did for the first time when I was older, my world literally felt like it was crashing in on me. I was jealous of my friends who didn’t always win at competitions because they knew how to handle those losses and move on with their day. I could not. I felt alone, ashamed, and wanted to runaway and hide (you can read my full story in my earlier chapters!) I didn’t know how to healthily work through “rejection” It’s not until more recently that I have been able to gain more healing in this area of my life. BUT, just because I have more self awareness, does not mean that I still don’t experience feeling rejected, jealousy, and feelings of not being enough.

JUST the other day, I experienced what felt like TOTAL rejection. I was bombarded with a situation that left me feeling like once again I wasn’t good enough. Not enough followers. Not a big enough resume. Then I got on Instagram and was blasted with accounts of people doing amazing things and quite frankly it brought me into a downward spiral of shame. I felt like TOTAL CRAP. I cried. I sat alone in my room and just cried. I thought I had been doing all these great habits to avoid these feelings?! I unfollowed people who are triggers for me, limited my time on social media, started my mornings with prayer and gratefulness, counseling, just basically ALL the things! So why was I feeling this way?

The fact that I was feeling this way was also making me mad. I was trying SO hard to shut the feelings down and not knowingly shaming myself for actually FEELING. I didn’t realize that getting mad at myself for feeling these feelings was actually making it worse. So what did I do? Well let me tell you…

I didn’t say three words and POOF all the disappointment was gone! No...that’s not real life. BUT! I will say that my “recovery time” getting out of this nice little hole I dug for myself was MUCH QUICKER than it has been in the past. The first thing I told myself is that NO ONE is alone and we all face rejection, insecurity, and! I started off with a good cry. I let myself feel the emotions and not try to dismiss them so easily. I accepted the disappoint and told myself that it’s ok to FEEL. I then of course called my best friend, who helped me out of this rut (Yes I NEEDED three phone calls to help me out of this one). YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CHEER SQUAD PEOPLE! It’s SO important to surround yourself with people who truly care about you and your well being...and are going to confirm that you’re a BA who can face anything! After praying that God would once again meet me in a place of feeling rejected and remind me of my purpose and worth, I read positive affirmations aloud to myself. Now, I KNOW this sounds corny. I really do. I was a huge doubter of this...but years ago a counselor told me that you don’t necessarily need to believe the things you write and read aloud. There is POWER in our words and speaking those out loud brings them to life. Even if I mentally don’t believe in the words...I speak them anyway, so that EVENTUALLY I start to believe them.

After reading these out loud, I decided that I’m going to continue having a good day. I’m going to choose that. I didn’t want to. Part of me wanted to wallow a bit...BUT I’m a fighter and not gonna let this tear me down. Before in my life, I had such a victim mentality and wanted to sit in the POOR ME mindset- but not today. I KNOW I am not the only one who feels these types of feelings. We all do. But how we respond to them is what really matters. Will you let rejection or disappointment take you down? What will you do WHEN you feel these things? That’s what matters. Maybe you’re in a rut today. Maybe you feel like your less of a person because you don’t have thousands of instagram followers. Maybe you feel like you will NEVER win that competition. Maybe you feel like your not a good enough mom/dad/wife/husband/friend/grandma/anyone! Maybe you feel like He or She will NEVER notice you.

Friends, you aren’t alone. It’s OK to feel. Don’t shove those feelings away. Remember “What you Resist WILL Persist” Accept the feelings. Tell yourself that you understand why you feel that way. Tell yourself that it SUCKS to feel rejected. Then talk to someone and ask for a little extra encouragement (but don’t rely solely on others!) and lastly, write down some truths you WANT to feel about yourself. You don’t necessarily have to believe them today, but with enough consistency you will. Then give yourself a hug, go for a walk outside, watch a youtube video of pandas to make you laugh, listen to THIS IS ME from the Greatest Showman, and know that YOU are unlike ANYONE else on this earth. You are UNIQUE, BEAUTIFUL, and have a purpose that is solely designed for YOU! No one can take that away from you! Love you friends, thank you for walking through this journey of life with me!